so I'm sitting here falling asleep trying to sort distribution lists, and my brain is having a conversation with itself that I'm only half-paying attention to until I realize that it's saying something about little red starlings. And I say, starlings don't come in red. Maybe somebody spray painted them.

spray painted starlings.

oh dear.

Something tells me that what I should really be doing just now is going back to sleep. Pity it's not likely to happen.

--Th

My teabag tells me that character is much easier kept than recovered.

so I am sitting here trying to work out what in the world it is that I'm supposed to be printing for the books, consulting two lists of varrying usefulness (one has who updates what, one has notations including where things are to be found) and mostly being vastly confused.

It would, I believe, be much more ammusing to take a can of spray paint out in search of starlings, but I'm not sure I could make one hold still long enough to paint it. (how do you catch starlings? could you hold onto one firmly without either damaging it or allowing it to damage you? not to mention, in terms of damage, how long would you have to look after a spray-painted starling before it could fend for itself in the wild again?)

--Th, who (maskerading as a responsible, civically-minded citizen) should not be threatening the starlings.

I think spray painting starlings is an extremely bad idea. They would die, or be blinded, or get sick, and you might get arrested and put in prison for cruelty to animals. Then I would have to pay all the rent, sell your possessions and drive your car.

Just so you know.

Virtue, whose tea bag hasn't said anything and is now huddling unloved in the trashcan

see, this was why the calculation of how long one would have to look after a spray-painted starling. And we'd need another cage; it would be unfair to put them in with the rats. Starlings are supposed to be nasty, and a freshly painted one would probably not be in a very good mood. and, too, it would be kind of silly to put the starling in rehabilitation treatment only to have the rats attack it... And the reason for considerations about holding on to the starling has much to do with trying to paint the wings and back, not the beak & eyeballs. Perhaps it would be best to work with unconscious starlings, under the influence of tranquilzers. Then you could use a paintbrush...

and no, I don't think you would be truly compelled to drive my car. Furthermore, if I were in prison, I don't think you would get ownership of my posessions anyway. I mean, it's not as if I'd die or anything. Besides, I don't think molesting starlings is quite up to grounds for emprisonment. Though I could of course always be wrong. (I think more likely they'd make me pay lots of money & promise not to do it again)

I also fleetingly contemplate the use of bright spray-on hair stuff. That ought to wash off better-- spray paint your starlings, take a picture quickly to prove you've done it, and then rinse them off with a hose & let them go.

Possibly. I don't know what happened to that guy who barbecued the kitten; the courts may have more sympathy for kittens than they would for starlings.

I think finding and catching verifiable starlings is still your biggest obstacle. I still recommend against it.

yes, well, especially since I don't know that I would necessarily recognize a starling if it bit me... which is odd, given that hoards & hoards & hoards of them lived in the bamboo in my parents yard while there was still bamboo there. I know what they sound like, & what they smell like (which latter I'd probably rather not)